


Never Thought I'd Be Here, But I Can't Complain About the View

by spuffyduds



Category: due South
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 13:29:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5498759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spuffyduds/pseuds/spuffyduds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray Vecchio isn't expecting much out of life at this point. He gets surprised.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Thought I'd Be Here, But I Can't Complain About the View

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MissHammer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissHammer/gifts).



“Really, _no_ problems?” Dr. Feigman says.

“Nope.”

“You were undercover as a violent mobster for,” she peeks at her notes, “a _year_ , and...no lingering aftereffects. Whatsoever. None.”

“Zero,” Ray says.

“That’s _astonishing_ ,” she says, with a tone that turns it into “That is complete bullshit.”

“Annnnnd….time’s up,” Ray says.

They can make him come to therapy but they can’t make him talk.

**********************************************************************************

He heads over to Fraser and Kowalski’s after. They promised him dinner, and he likes going over there even on nights they don’t feed him because...it’s the only time he feels much of anything. Mostly he feels jealous and like a fucking idiot and like neither of them would ever speak to him again if they knew the shit he’d done in Vegas, but hey, it’s something. 

He picks up a nice wine on the way there, like always. Kowalski’s a surprisingly good cook but strictly a beer guy; Fraser seems to enjoy a glass now and again but the few times Ray’s let him try _choosing_ the wine he made tragic decisions based on whether he liked the animals on the labels.

Fraser lets him in; Kowalski’s in the kitchen cursing steadily, which is his usual cooking accompaniment. Ray sits on what’s he’s come to think of as his end of the couch and tries to focus on what Fraser probably thinks is small talk--seal blubber is involved--but mostly Ray’s looking around the room. Looking around at Kowalski’s stupid punk records on shelves that Fraser trashpicked and refinished, at Fraser’s dad’s journals stacked beside Kowalski’s turtle tank, at a framed drawing Fraser did of Kowalski’s hands. 

Ray’s wondering if _he_ could have had some version of this, if he’d admitted a few things to himself before Vegas, _instead_ of Vegas. If maybe now he’d be living here with Fraser, all their stuff casually intermingled.

Also, he’s really glad that Fraser’s drawing isn’t of any _other_ part of Kowalski, but somehow even just the hands make him feel weird.

He really lost the thread of whatever the hell Canadian lard Fraser was talking about, and now, shit, Fraser’s gone silent. And he’s giving Ray a look.  
“What,” Ray says.

“You..are you all right, Ray?” 

Ray opens his mouth to say sure, of course, but. He’s never been great at lying to Fraser, and this time it feels like all of Vegas just rises up into his throat and chokes him.

He just sits there on the sofa and makes little noises, and suddenly Fraser is right there beside him with an arm awkwardly around his shoulders. Fraser’s right there with his ridiculous warmth and his smell like Christmas trees and wool with a little bit of dog, and it’s too much, Ray can’t take it any more, and Ray turns under Fraser’s arm and leans into him and kisses him on the cheek like a fucking idiot, and then closes his eyes and just freezes there, waiting for everything to fall apart.

There’s total silence for forever, and then Ray opens his eyes to see Kowalski standing there gaping at them, because of course Kowalski walked in at that exact moment.

Ray’s wondering bleakly whether he’s going to just get tossed or punched and then tossed. He _deserves_ to get punched, he’d maybe feel better somehow if he got punched, but he’s not sure Fraser would let that happen no matter how horrified he is.

And then Kowalski points at Fraser and just says, “ _Told_ ya.”

“What?” Ray says.

“You’re doing all the laundry for a month, Frase,” Kowalski says, and Fraser says, “Well, I really should have known not to argue with your hunches,” and Ray says, “What?”

Kowalski drops down onto the couch, so now Ray’s between them. His brain just keeps repeating “between them” because in a larger sense he doesn’t know _where_ the fuck he is, because what is happening?

Fraser leans back from him a little and looks into his eyes very seriously, that look he has when he says his weirdly definite “yes” to something important, and then takes Ray’s chin in his fingers and kisses him back.

Jesus.

Ray can’t think, he pulls away and looks at Kowalski expecting rage but Kowalski looks--turned on is how he looks, his face is flushed and his lips are open, and he’s rubbing one hand against his own thigh but it looks like he’d really like to have that hand somewhere else. And what the hell, Ray is already clearly hallucinating or something, so he leans forward and puts his lips to Kowalski’s and Kowalski actually _moans_.  
“Guys,” Ray says, but it’s kind of garbled because somehow he can’t make himself pull away from Kowalski’s mouth. “What are you doing.”

“Well, Ray, Ray was under the impression that you could use--” Fraser says before Kowalski reaches across Ray to put a hand on Fraser’s mouth, and then Kowalski’s other hand is on Ray’s _crotch_ and Kowalski says, “ _This_ is what we’re doing. Okay?”

“Okay.” Ray says. He’s hallucinating, but he’s not stupid.

Fraser stands up and pulls Ray with him, and Kowalski says, “Shit, dinner.”

“ _Fuck_ dinner,” Fraser says cheerfully, and Ray’s jaw drops but Kowalski says, “Yeah, yeah,” and disappears into the kitchen and Ray hears pots rattling and the fridge opening while he stares at Fraser who’s just standing there with a goofy grin.

Then Kowalski’s back and grabbing his other hand and then they’re in the bedroom and...this is still happening, Kowalski’s kneeling down to take Ray’s shoes off and Fraser’s unbuttoning Ray’s shirt and Ray should probably be doing something to help but it’s all he can do to lift a foot for Kowalski, he’s shaking all over.

They nudge him to the bed, and he’s naked now and shivering even harder, it’s not cold in here but he can’t stop. 

Both of them climb on the bed still fully dressed and Fraser climbs on _top_ of Ray, just pressing him down into the mattress with his big solid weight, and Ray takes a few deep breaths and just _feels_ , all that pressure and heat, and he stops shaking.

Fraser starts kissing him again, and Kowalski is--Kowalski is sucking his fingers. Good god.

Ray--Ray _is_ stupid, because he’s about to have an unbelievable thing happen here, and he tries to _stop_ it because, because he--”Guys, don’t, you don’t know, I don’t deserve, I did--I did so much.”

Fraser arches up to look at him, which makes his crotch grind down against Ray’s, god. “Whatever you did,” he says, “it was because you had to.”

Which is the simplest most obvious thing in the world, and Ray can’t even count how many times his therapist has said that to him. But somehow, hearing it from Fraser’s mouth when he’s naked under Fraser’s weight...Ray _believes_ it.

“Yeah,” he says softly, and some kind of weird warmth goes all through him and he thinks he might start sobbing and keep it up for an embarrassingly long time, but then Fraser grinds down again and Kowalski rolls closer and starts sucking on Ray’s ear, so Ray settles for just gasping a lot.

Fraser rolls off him and then he has a hand on Ray’s balls, just cupping them, not really doing anything yet. Ray thinks he might die.

And then Kowalski starts to climb up on hands and knees, Ray’s not sure what he’s planning, but while Kowalski’s doing this he rests most of his weight on one hand that’s landed on Ray’s _wrist_ , pushing it down hard into the mattress, and Ray gasps really, really loud. 

“Huh,” says Kowalski, and “Hmmmm,” says Fraser, and then Ray loses his mind because each of them has hold of a wrist and is shoving it down, and each is using the other hand to pinch at a nipple, they’re _synchronizing_ making him insane.

He groans and thrashes through a couple minutes of that and then Kowalski moves a hand to Ray’s dick and Ray’s _gone_ , he is done, coming all over his stomach.

He’s vaguely aware of a couple of things after that--Fraser swabbing at him with a washcloth, Kowalski murmuring, “You’re cooking next time, asshole,” into his ear. But mostly he’s just sliding into sleep the easiest he has in months, and even as he drifts off he can’t stop grinning, and he’s thinking he might still be smiling when he wakes up.

\---end---


End file.
